2012 should have been one of the happiest times of my life. I was 35 and had just found out I was going to be a mum for the first time, but sadly unbeknownst to me, I was also going to lose my mum that year.
I will always remember finishing work that day and getting really excited to go and tell my parents that I was expecting. My mum had always wanted me to have a baby, she already had two granddaughters by my brother but they always say that it’s different when your daughter has a baby.
When I showed mum the 12 week scan photo her reaction was not what I thought it would be. The full on excitement that I had expected just wasn’t there. Over the next few weeks mum became a little forgetful – like not putting the mince in the lasagne and struggling to get her words out. She also seemed really down and not her usual giddy self. After seeing her upset over this, we went to the doctors where after doing the memory test they then sent her for a head scan.
A week or so later we were told it was Alzheimer’s – she was only 64. I took the news very blasé, I thought – well it’s not cancer, they haven’t given you six weeks to live so let’s not worry about this. I
Mum was bubbly, fun, fashionable, youthful and caring. She loved pottering around the house keeping it up to date and fresh. Poor dad was always decorating! She loved being creative and would always put something random in birthday cards like pictures from the past or lottery tickets with numbers that were significant.
Mum would never go out without a full face of makeup and loved pampering herself with the radio blaring out. I could go on all day about the ditzy fun things she used to do.
When I said I had lost my mum back in 2012, I suppose you were thinking that my mum may have passed away. Quite the opposite, she is very much alive but is no longer the mum I remember
Today, my mum is nine years into the illness. She no longer speaks, bearing in mind she used to talk the hind legs off a donkey. She can’t dress herself, let alone put her make up on. She can’t feed herself, can’t walk, and can’t take basic instructions.
Alzheimer’s has stripped her of her memory, dignity and pride The cruellest thing is that she looks at me like a stranger and hasn’t said my name for what feels like years. Mum’s brain is slowly shrinking,
Alzheimers is not a natural part of ageing – the youngest person to be diagnosed is 29.
I could go on and on about the heartache that Alzheimer’s is bringing to the family but it’s not all doom and gloom. Somehow, living with this disease has brought us closer. I look after my mum like my children, but we laugh and sing- granted we don’t know what we are laughing about but it’s great to sometimes see a little glimmer of her old self.
I was hearing things in the press and reading publications that dementia research is so underfunded, I thought let me turn my negative story into something positive and so a sudden urge to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Society sprung to mind. This was the day my fundraiser was born: “Denim for Dementia”.
Since then, my concept of everyone wearing denim for the day and contributing £1 has raised over £50,000 for the Alzheimer’s Society and I need your help to make this year’s campaign, just as successful. On the 21st May 2021, let’s see if we can get as many businesses, schools and care homes to join in. Let our future generation grow up in a world without dementia.
Faye Mitchell
https://www.facebook.com/Denim-For-Dementia-103965584435111
Email: fayemitchell1@icloud.com