Sally Hankinson Spurgeon – Why?

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“It is cancer”.  After two years, and four breast specialists, trying to determine the cause of the pain, swelling and discomfort I’d been experiencing in my left breast.  The diagnosis actually came as a relief. 

My next feeling was one of excitement – the thought “I’m going to die” went through my head.  I drowned as a child and I’ve never forgotten the experience. Peace doesn’t even come close to describing what I felt, and I have no fear of going back to that place. My husband, however, was not as excited at that prospect and assured me that it was not time for me to leave him just yet. 

So, my question was, if I wasn’t going to die, then WHY did I have breast cancer?  I don’t mean why as in ‘poor me’, or ‘why me?’, but as in OK – what am I going to learn from this?  

I wracked my brain with all the questions I think everyone asks themselves when given a diagnosis like this – What did I do to cause this? Which toxins have I been exposed to? Did I eat wrong foods? Did I drink too much? Which wrong thoughts affected my energy field and caused this imbalance? What past life experience is manifesting this way? Did I take birth control pills for too long? And the list goes on……….

I had opened a massage office in Las Vegas in October of 2007, wanting to work with people with spinal cord injuries. The business started out well, as I already had a good following from doing massage as a side job for years while working in the entertainment industry. But then the recession hit, and business slowed, and I had this annoying swelling and discomfort in my left breast that three breast specialists had been unable to figure out despite each of them ordering biopsies and scans. 

A fourth breast specialist finally figured it out – by taking a slice of tissue from my breast. Ouch! At the time of my diagnosis in December 2008, I thought I was doing great! I had been taking five or more clients a day and my schedule had a three week wait list. Business was finally starting to pick up. So now, while relieved that I finally understood why I had breast pain, the question was what to do next?

It’s strange how we internalize stress. In our fast-paced lives we often ignore the fact that we’re stressed, thinking that we can single-handedly manage it, but by doing this we compromise our well-being, both physically and emotionally. Stress throws off our hormonal balance, causing sleep and digestive imbalances, and exhausting our bodies and minds – even if we’re not aware of what is happening. My stress level was at an all-time high and I was unaware of how it was affecting me.

My biggest concern at that time was how to keep my office open and running if I wasn’t there to take clients.  It was 2008 and the recession had hit everyone hard. I had three other therapists working with me and I needed to fill their schedules. I knew I had to get well as quickly as possible, so I opted for six sessions of chemotherapy followed by mastectomy surgery and reconstruction surgery.

I’d always been interested in natural healing and averse to taking medication, but I knew that this treatment option had a proven record of success. I had been volunteering at a local centre that provided healing arts to people with all types of cancer, I’d gone with my husband to each of his treatments for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma back in 1997, and I’d taken two of my girlfriends who also went through chemo for breast cancer to their appointments, so I had an idea of what was to come. I was able to work during most of my chemo and many of my clients didn’t even know I was going through treatment. It’s amazing what a little red wig and broccoli soup can do for you!

I bought every book I could find on cancer and nutrition and signed myself up for a course to become a nutritional consultant. I had plenty of reading for the days I couldn’t work!

Originally, I was to have mastectomy surgery on my left side, but after a trip to England for my Mum’s 80^th birthday celebration, I noticed a tiny area where there was a slight difference in the skin on my right breast. An MRI guided needle biopsy of the area showed a tiny speck of cancer – so tiny it came out in the needle with clear margins, but that changed the surgical decision to a bi-lateral mastectomy. 

Mastectomy surgery opened up a whole new world to me!  Apart from learning that, for reconstruction purposes, it is easier to obtain symmetry when both breasts are done, I also learned that the process of reconstruction is not as simple as it may appear – if you happen to be feeling good and continue to work when you should be resting!

My mastectomy surgery was in 2010.  The option I chose was to have sub-muscular silicone ‘gummy bear’ implants – named because if you cut or rupture them, the silicone supposedly stays in place like the inside of a gummy bear candy. The process involves complete removal of breast tissue followed by insertion of expanders, which incrementally stretch the pectoralis muscle, to make space for the implant. Once the expanders have stretched the tissue to slightly larger than the desired breast size, they are removed, and the implant is put in place. There are many other reconstruction options available, but that was my choice back then.

What I learned is that when you have expanders put in place, it feels as though someone has inserted a steel girder under your skin in place of a bra and it is at least two sizes too small! Taking a deep breath was just not possible. My whole upper torso felt tight and contracted.

At that point, I was very grateful to have trained as a massage therapist! I felt I knew what my body needed to get relief and I was able to ask the therapists at my office to help me. I also learned that just because you feel better, and you can move and breathe freely again, doesn’t mean that you should do everything! 

I felt so good that I went back to work after only a few weeks, but over the next four years I had many more surgeries due to infection and implant rejection because of overworking – there’s nothing like learning the hard way, but I don’t recommend it!

My doctors saw how much the massage was helping my healing after each surgery and were very generous with their time. I spent hours with them, picking their brains and getting them to explain what was involved in the different breast cancer and reconstruction surgeries. They even allowed me to watch them performing surgeries so I would get a better understanding. I was fascinated! 

Now I had to learn more! I contacted a Holistic Health Practitioner I’d heard of who lived in Texas. She had taught about breast massage while studying for her Master’s in medical sciences and had also worked as a research scientist in the fields of biochemistry, genetics, microbiology and cytology.  She invited me to stay with her, so I flew to Texas and gleaned every bit of information I could about breast tissue, the fascial system, and the lymphatic system. 

Putting all this information together, I developed a bodywork protocol which we started offering at my office. I had to get permission from our state regulators to perform the work, as the breast is not normally a part of the anatomy legally included in massage, but the response was amazing! We educated our existing clients about the importance of breast massage to promote and maintain healthy breast tissue and were able to help so many breast cancer survivors that not only my surgeons, but others started sending us their patients too.

Over the years, the positive response to the protocol has been amazing. Deepak Chopra’s Organization heard about the treatment and had me teach their Spa and Medical staff so they could help their guests. This led to the creation of a class which was approved by our National Certification Board, to teach other therapists how to do this work. 

The more therapists that learn the work, the more women can be helped, and there is a higher chance of finding problems at an early stage when the survival rate is high.  With 1 in 8 women being diagnosed with breast cancer each year, there are many who need this help.

So, I learned a lot, and I feel my WHY was answered. Breast cancer was a gift, given to me to so I could help others. A blessing for which I am truly grateful!